I don’t quite know how I am going to put this post into words and it is a completely self indulgent post but one I feel like I need to type up. My headspace is completely confusing right now. There is a lot going on in my head, in my life and at work so I thought I’d offer up a post about what is going on, and how I’m managing to deal with it all.
I don’t know if I mentioned on here or just on twitter but I am currently on secondment at work for a higher role. Higher responsibility means a massive increase in work load and man has this taken some getting used to. I’ve had some awful days over the last couple of months which have left me feeling so unbelievably out of my depth, but also some days where I’ve really felt like I’ve achieved something incredible. When I moved to my new company in March 2016 I had no idea that the following 18 months would see me get two amazing promotions. I’ve worked really hard so it feels amazing to have that recognised but at the minute I’ve found that crippling self doubt has been getting the better of me some days. I know I should feel so proud of myself but some days I just struggle so much. The other day I had a full blown meltdown in the gym (box jumps had gotten the better of me) and I think it was just a culmination of holding it together for so long. This week I’ve taken time out to ‘slow the fuck down’ – thanks to the advice of Laura Jane Williams book Ice Cream for Breakfast – realising that the world will not stop if I take 15 minutes out of my day to just rebalance and re-enter.
I have been making a conscious effort to read more books and watch less TV. We have started watching the odd drama on TV but I am trying to get at least 30 minutes of reading in each evening before bed. I’m really finding that this is helping me to calm down and relax more before bed. I do keep finding myself asleep on the sofa however! One of my favourite books recently has been Ice Cream For Breakfast as mentioned above. I love Lauras no bullshit approach to life and I’m trying to implemet her advise in my own life.
I’ve also been loving podcasts for my long car journeys – Made Online by London Beauty Queen is wonderful, so interesting and well thought out. I could listen to Hayley talk all day and would really recommend you give her a listen. I love her most recent episode with Lauren from Girl Stole London. Very inspiring.
We have also been in the process of re-mortgaging our house as our fixed rate had come to an end. Thankfully we have got a great financial advisor who has been able to help us throughout the process but my god I’ve found this super stressful. It has really been playing on my mind which is silly as we’ve had no financial issues but the pessimist in me has been stressing for the last two weeks. As I’m typing this we are awaiting our official mortgage offer which has been approved so I’ve been stressing for nothing!
Minimalism and organising – This is something that has really been getting me down. I have spent a lot of time looking into ‘minimalism’ and ‘capsule wardrobes’ and anyone who knows me will literally laugh at this. I am a renowned hoarder and struggle to throw anything out as I always save things ‘just incase’. I honestly am starting to feel bogged down by my belongings and I’m slowly working through and organising – getting things ready for sale, charity shops or giving away. It is going to be really long and slow process but I know I’ll feel better at the end of it. If you have any posts about minimalism or becoming more stream lined then please link them below.
With regards to organisation I have become obsessed with the idea of bullet journaling. Again, if you have any posts or suggestions of places to look, please let me know. I’ve done a bit of a haul and I’m going to get started sooner rather than later. Normally I’d wait until January the first but I just want to get stuck in. I love the idea of having a planner which works better for me as I currently have two online calendars (work and personal) and three paper diaries (work, personal and blog). It is becoming too much for me and way too hard to maintain them all along with endless lists and paperwork.
So yes, my head is in a funny place at the moment and I’m just trying to push myself into doing more things that I enjoy. I really want to throw myself back into blogging and youtube, working hard on content that I am proud of. Sometimes I really think it is beneficial to take a step back, and look at just how far you have come; I think this is where I have been going wrong.
What are your top tips for getting yourself back on track?
Heres to a happy October!